Time passing me by

Last night had our regular 6 a side indoor footbal match in skipton. We were well beaten, that's not entirely true, it was a 'slaughter', 'a hammering', the final score; skipton 6 bradford 0. Its a simple case of our team not being able to cope with 16 and 17 year olds who have the pace and fitness to run around all day; kinda like a moth to a flame.

Its sad to realise your no longer in your youth (33 years of age). The vibrancy, the get up and go exists only fleetingly (although some people may argue I never had it in the first place). No matter how hard you try you will never get it back.

I used to be able to do all nighters with ease, now its a case of going to bed at a reasonable hour, midnight, which is early for me. One thing that has'nt changed is waking up in the mornings. I was always bad at that.

Now that I have a young son on the scene, its about him, I have slowly become inconspicuous in the background, he is the star of 'This Show'. He woke up at six in the morning. We had a bit of a chill session, I was shattered, it was good spending time with him and just playing.

Time has indeed passed me by and there is one ever occuring theme in my thoughts. I just can't knock it out of my head, probably because I have become a father. Naturally (or otherwise) my thoughts have turned recently to my own father who passed away all those summers ago (1989). Has it really been fifteen years. Its great to have Umar (my son) about in our lives, but I still cannot escape the re-occuring theme within my thoughts of what it would be like if 'dad' was about. It would have been nice to see the two of them together, to see the joy they both would have gained and given.

I can see the transformation he has brought to my mum its amazing to be a part of that and so sweet to observe. These feelings of loss have been enhanced by my brother giving me the remanants of an old family photo album which he has kept all these years. My mission is to scan certain photos.

Looking at those photos strengthens the tinge of sadness which exists inside my heart

I also found a picture of my phuppo(dads younger sister). She also past away in 1989. I have been recently chatting to the eldest daughter, (shanilla on line, yahoo messenger). She is now 24 years of age and lives in canada with a young son and husband.I feel the loss that she feels, maybe hers is greater to a certain extent as she was far younger than I was at the time. I found a lovely photograph of her and her mum, she must have been 3 to 6 months old (when the photo was taken). I want to scan the photograph and email it to her, it will be my gift to her. She has two younger twin sibblings who were only 18 months old when she passed away. What a tragedy to have no real memories of your mother ............

Time indeed has passed me by.